Preport jitters

Before every port, we have a mandatory meeting where we get basic survival information.  We hear what the entry process will be, how to get local money, how to say hello and thanks, and maybe the weather forecast.  We are warned about whether the food and drink are safe.  After our first port, we started to get the "this is serious, this is scary" warnings.  After our second, we started to get the police report.  In Vietnam, half the people are terrified to get off the ship.

In Japan, a couple of people got rufied (drugs in their drinks) and had their credit cards stolen.  Bills up to $8500 (probably credit card max) in fraudulent charges.  A few robbed, sexually assaulted.  In China, three people lost their passports (one stolen, one lost, one lost but subsequently found).  More drugged students. 

In Vietnam, we now hear, people on motorbikes grab your sunglasses or your purse as they race by.  They target people walking and in cyclos, the motorcycle taxis.  People have been injured, dragged behind motorcycles because their purses were strapped across their bodies.  IPhones are particular targets; evidently their screens are particularly valuable.

This fun information comes to us from the Department of State, which provides us "Country Specific Information," most of which is, "Travel at your own risk.  If these terrible things happen to you, don't look to us for help!"  Eight pages for Vietnam.  One of my little jobs is to print and post the CSI, so I read the whole thing.  The other scared people were just paying attention to the dire warnings given to the ship.

In addition, we were treated to slide shows of injuries from the ship's most recent trip to Saigon.  Mostly, these were burns from motorcycles.  A few parasites picked up from swimming in fresh water.  Another slide show dealt with souvenirs we are not allowed to bring back:  liquor bottles with snakes and scorpions, cigarette lighters that look like grenades, varous souvenirs that look like bullets or are made from bullets.  All the pictures are of things confiscated from returning passengers.

Our ship's staff captain, in a rare display of humor, suggested that there were other souvenirs we should be wary of bringing home, as we do not want to have to visit the ship's souvenirologist.  (This was an oblique reference to STDs, for an audience which included the children of faculty and staff.)

We were also treated to a brilliant parody of "Aquarius," sung in harmony, where the first verse was "malaria," the second was "diarrhea," and the third, "gonnorrhea." 

Travel isn't for sissies, I find.  I've been taking my malaria pills, I'll carry bottled water, STDs are not a concern, but I haven't figured out how to carry these essentials without involving a purse:

• Vietnam landing card
• copy of my passport (they recommend two, actually)
• greensheet (emergency information for the ship)
• phone (not IPhone, but smart phone) with local map
• camera
• money
• sunglasses
• hand sanitizer
• toilet paper
• water bottle
• health information (insurance cards for home and ship plans)
• fake wallet with minimal money and old ID cards
• power bar for emergency food source
• bug spray
• sunscreen
• pills for avoiding TD and pills for treating it if avoiding it fails

That 17-pocket vest is looking better after all.

From my desk, I can see the line for the gangway.  Looks like everyone is going to take a chance on it.  Our executive dean did say that we would love it.  Presuming we all survive.